Matthew 25:1-13
When the Bible talks about the Bridegroom and the Bride in relation to Yeshua and the church, scripture is comparing what is to come in relation to the ancient Hebrew wedding model. So to truly understand what is to come, we must first understand the wedding model.
Christianity is rooted in ancient Hebrew culture. The “Old Testament” of our Holy Bible is the TANAKH for Jews. The number of books is different because Christians have books like 1 and 2 Kings, whereas the Jews have just Kings, same goes for Chronicles. The ordering of the books also differ. THe Books of Moses – Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy – is the Torah. What’s not in the TANaKH, is the books of Matthew through Revelation, but many of the things talked about were based on the Old Testament understanding, and many events that occur were prophesied in the “Old Testament”/TANAKH.
Ancient Hebrew Wedding Model
Marriage is a creation of YHVH. Woman was made as a help mate to man, under the authority, but equal in his value. (Gen. 2:18-25) For this reason, alongside the continuation of life, marriage is more than just two people who love one another, committing to life together. It’s meant to be a permanent covenant that obligates the man to the love and care of his wife and home, and the woman to the respect and care of her husband and home. It’s both individuals declaring their commitment to this marriage which supersedes the spouse. NOt in the form of idolatry, but reverence.
There were three parts of the Ancient Hebrew wedding model. The kiddushin (pre-engagement), the erusin (marriage), and the nisu’in (consummation).
Kiddushin – Finding a Bride
It was customary in the culture for the fathers to be the matchmaker for their children, as YHVH was matchmaker for Adam. The marriage covenant was a form of protection for the bride, like the covenants YHVH made were for the protection of mankind. Fathers sought out a spouse for their daughter and presented the potential match to her. The daughter had a choice in the matter (typically) to agree or disagree. It was not customary for a daughter to be forced into marriage, although I wouldn’t go as far as to say it never happened. The father deliberated with the potential groom and his father. If the potential bride and groom to be agree to marry then they move forward to betrothal.
Betrothal was marked by the signing of the ketubah. The ketubah is the marriage contract that is a culmination of a prenuptial agreement, the marriage vows, and the marriage license, all in one, but with heavy spiritual and moral reverence attached to it. It outlined the conditions and requirements of the groom and bride to one another, listed the bride’s estate inventory, listed the agreed upon bride price, and the portion of the dowry that the bride’s father would give to the bride. The contract is meant to protect the bride in the event of divorce or if marital issues arise where one of the parties is not upholding their part of the preestablished obligations.
The Dowry
When a young woman married, the family lost a valuable member who contributed to the success of the home. Out of honor for his in-laws, the groom paid a dowry to the bride’s father. Her father, if he were a good father, would give her gifts which established her estate (servants, money, land, animals, etc.) as well as the greater portion of the dowry. If he were a good good father (and well off) he would gift the whole of the dowry to his daughter.
The Bride Price
In the event of an unlawful divorce, the groom was required to return all that was listed in the ketubah under the bride’s inventory back to her, as well as pay her the bride price. The bride price was an agreed upon lump sum that the groom paid the bride if he wanted to divorce her. A divorce was only lawful in the event of adultery. If the bride committed adultery, the groom would get to keep everything and not pay the bride price.
Erusin – The Betrothed Bride
Betrothal is established at an event similar to an engagement party. The groom, his father, and two witnesses (something liken to the best men) go to the brides home in a formal fashion. When the groom arrives he’ll knock on the door an dif the bride opens the door the groom enters the home and they dine together, his family and hers. This is a symbol to their community that they are betrothed. During this “engagement party” the ketubah is signed by the two witnesses, not the bride or groom. Then the groom gives. His new bride mattan ((giftes like jewelry and clothing). The mattan is a sign of the life she is to expect to have with him.
After this event, the groom leaves his bride and returns to his father’s house. They are legally wedded, but the marriage has not yet been consummate. A betrothed bride remains in her father’s home and they do not see one another for the duration of their betrothal, which was typically a year long. If the bride and groom aren’t of age to consummate their marriage then the betrothal period goes on until they have matured.
While the groom is away he builds a chuppah (bridechamber) unto his father’s home, the place where he and his wife will spend a period of seven together. He also builds a separate dwelling place that will be his home with his brides. He keeps in touch with his father-in-law throughout and he sends messages of love letters to his bride, which are delivered by the groomsmen. The bride does not know then her groom will return to retrieve her; she only has a round-about time frame. The groom doesn’t know either. His return is determined by the fathers who judge the dwelling place that the groom has prepared for his bride. If the fathers say it is a fit place then the groom may go get his bride.
Near to the time her groom was expected to arrive, the bride would bathe in a mikvah for ritualistic purification. A mikvah is a pool of natural water. When the groom got the go-ahead, the next phase of the marriage process began, the nisu’in.
Nisu’in – Consummated Marriage
The celebration began with a parade processional to the bride’s home and ended at the groom’s home. The groom, accompanied by the two witnesses, begins a parade procession, during the evening time. He exalted his bride with shafar blasts and people along the way would announce his coming to his bride. The bride, accompanied by her bridesmaids – up to ten of them – would light oil lamps and go out to meet the groom. The bridesmaids and groomsmen would wait outside in the court while the groom and bride entered in the chuppah to consummate their marriage while laying on white linen. The white linen was the proof of the bride’s virginity.
When the groom emerged from the bridechamber, he would give the linen to a witness who was chosen by the bride’s parents. If the bride was a virgin, the lienen would be stained wiht her blood and the wedding feast ensued. If the lien was not stained, this was proof that the bride was not a virgin and was grounds for divorce and her stoning to death. The wedding feast – think wedding reception – would last a week and occurred at the house of the groom’s father.
Now that we have an understanding of the ancient Hebrew wedding model, let’s look at it in juxtaposition to Yeshua and those who believe in Him.
YHVH is married to those who take on His name, Israel (Hosea 2:21) and through Israel, His son Yeshua was born. Yeshua is the bridegroom and his bride is chosen for him by YHVH. In the Bible, YHVH details in numerous passages the heart poster and demeanor of the bride he’s chosen for his son. Luke 18:18-23 The bride YHVH chooses for his Son keeps the commandments of YHVH, covets not the world creating idols of things fashioned by hand, gives alms to the poor, and walks in the way of Yeshua. This is a bride who has examples that she can submit to her groom’s lordship, she is equally yoked with the same morals and standards, and her heart is meek and loving. That’s definitely the bride I want for my sons.
Kiddishuin means sanctification.
The first stage of the marriage process is your faith. Yeshua came to earth to meet with the bride to be. This early stage of your relationship is the beginning of sacification. The groom comes knocking on your door and you choose if you will open the door or not.
Revelation 3:20 KJV
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”
The conditions of said betrothal – we love the Lord YHVH with all of our heart, soul, and mind, careful to keep his commandments, and we must believe in Yeshua as the Messiah.
The groom prepares to go back home but before he does he must pay the dowry and give you mattan. The dowry, his life on the cross. And because the father of the bride, YHVH, is the good good father that He is, He gave the full portion of the dowry back to the bride.
The mattan is the power of Yeshua and the gifts of the Spirit. John 14:12-14 KJV (Yeshua speaking) “Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also, and greater works than these shall he do because I go unto my Father, and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. IF ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it. If ye love me, keep my commandments, and I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth Him not, neither knoweth Him; But ye know Him, for He dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more, but ye see me; Because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. He that hath my commandments, and keep them, he it is that loveth me. And he that loveth me shall be loved by my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”
You’ve agreed to be his bride. The ketubah is signed and witnessed by the Spirit. Mazel Tov!
Erusin means betrothed.
You are not the bride of the Messiah but your marriage is not yet consummated. Yeshua has retired to his father’s house in heave to prepare a place for his bride.
John 14:2-4 KJV (Yeshua speaking)
“In my father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself, That where I am, there ye may be also, and wither I go ye know, and the way ye know.”
As the waiting bride, you are to keep your oil and lamp ready. Uphold the word of YHVH, be honorable of your groom in his physical absence that there may be no question of your betrothal to Yeshua. Be baptised in ritual purification. Take communion in remembrance of your groom.
While the groom is away, his witness, Holy Spirit, is his messanger to his bride. His love letters are kept for you in the Holy Bible. When will he be back? You don’t know and He doesn’t either.
Mark 13:32-33 KJV (Yeshua speaking)
“But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. Take ye heed, watch and pray; for ye know not when the teim is.”
From Revelation 11, we know that when he returns, he’ll come with shofars blasting, lifting up his bride. Many of those of Messianic faith believe that His return will align with the Feast of Trumpets. This biblical holiday, found in the Torah, is a day of shofar blasting. There are two holidays that follow it, the Day of Atonement and then The Feast of Booths.
Nisu’in is judgment day.
The wedding procession has begun and you enter into the bridal chamber wit your groom. This is Judgement day for the bride, or the Day of Atonement. Either you will be found to be a virgin, one who kept themself for her groom, or not. If you are found to be an adulterer (idolater) – expert weeping and gnashing of teeth.
His true bride will ascend the highest place with him. Then comes the wedding feast. The Messianic fatih believes this to be the Feast of Tabernacles, the seven day festival following the Day of Atonement.
Marriage is a picture of the magnificent truth of salvation and life everlasting. With all of this new-to-me information, my earthly marriage to my husband means that much more to me and has gained a reverence I honestly lacked before. And my marriage to Yeshua, it’s forever changed.