I grew up a traditional Christian. In my 30’s I began submitting to and keeping the Torah. That decision drastically changed my Christianity and the traditions I kept especially the winter holiday traditions.
The whole issue around winter holiday transitions began when I was 24 and had my second daughter. G-d spoke to me and said “No Easter Bunny and no Santa Clause” It felt random to me. Up until that point I was fully committed to the traditions of my childhood and excited to keep them with my children. But I heard G=d clearly and He knew I heard Him clearly. So we didn’t visit the mall that year to take pictures with the Easter Bunny or Santa but I bought Christmas gifts and Easter baskets. The following years those two holidays grew increasingly uncomfortable for me to keep. It just felt wrong to keep them. I tried talking with my husband about it but he was like I was prior, excited to keep the tradition going. It was fun. It was a bright spot in our childhoods. Why rob our children of it?
Because G-d told me too!
The G-d card. That’s what he calls it when I say that was my reasoning. “I can’t argue with the G-d card.” he’d respond and then give in reluctantly.
Over the past 4 years specifically, we’ve dwindled down on Christmas, and this year it’s not even on the list of what we will do. We’ve foregone the tradition of Christmas trees, gift exchange, and HO HO HO.
The Beloved Wonders of Winter
Our family’s winter holiday traditions are a bit different since we’ve been keeping Torah. This year will be our first year celebration of the Festival of Dedication (Hanukkah). I’ve made it clear to my children that we aren’t replacing Christmas with Hanukkah though. I want to celebrate the miracle that kept the Torah from being an ancient relic that no one lived by today.
Winter is my husband and my favorite season. Winter just seems so magical! We are both homebodies so staying in, eating warm foods, cuddling, family time, and taking things slow, it’s perfect. The Christmas holiday made it all the more fun because the joy that is spread and gift giving. So what do we do instead?
Our Family’s Winter Traditions
We still take part in seasonal fun… sorta. I enjoy the light shows and decorations and so do the kids. We load up in the SUV dressed in our pajamas with blankets on our laps. I have a cooler with snacks, drinks and a bucket of grilled chicken that we eat as I drive through neighborhoods and light show trails. We sing every beautiful song about the birth of Jesus (although we know this isn’t his birthday) and the joy of wintertime. It’s so much fun and it’s memories that last forever even though we only do it for one night.
We will decorate our home with string lights and Hanukkah menorahs. We make paper chains of snowflakes and watch kid holiday movies as well as all the Hallmark Movies I can stand. Our popcorn machine will be working overtime during the month of December. We also make lots of sweet treats and warm drinks together. This year we are making hot apple cider (wassail for mom), egg nog, and hot chocolate, as well as a variety of cookies, cheesecakes, and couture donuts. This is definitely one of the joys of our winter holiday traditions.
To Gift or Not to Gift?
There will not be a gift exchange among us. Instead we will focus on tzedakah. Tzedakah isn’t giving charity to organizations, it’s giving to people who have a need, “Open your hand and give to the one who is needy.” We all keep our eyes peeled that we may see when a mother is counting if she can afford everything in her cart or deciding if she should get the heftier coat which is pricier. We’ll cook bigger portions and take a hot meal to someone living on the street. We’ll give what we can and pray when we can’t. We will offer our time and talents to someone who could use assistance. This year our giving may be small acts of kindness, someday our giving will look like giving a car to a person who walks to work. Or a hotel room for the winter months for the homeless man we’ve befriended. Or a month’s supply of food for a family of 8.
The most important thing we will do during December is share the stories of the miracles G-d performed. Like keeping the menorah lit while the Jewish people made new oil. And the miracle of the Messiah being born. We will also record the personal miracles G-d performed for our family in the past year in our family’s book of miracles. It’s the season of miracles and we are going to talk about them all.
End With The New Year
My favorite winter holiday traditions that our family started 5 years ago is our New Year’s Eve gathering. Not a big party. Something small, intimate and reflective. We sit around the table that’s filled with finger foods and drinks. We take turns talking about the best and most difficult parts of our year, as well as the lessons we learned. Then we watch the video that we made from the year before. In the video, we talk to our future self who is one year older. We tell our future self our hopes and dreams for us in the coming year. There is usually some regret from letting our past self down, or laughter from how clueless we were, or every congratulations given for living up to our word. Then we will make a video for next year. We go to bed after the ball drops in New York and sleep as the new year crosses into our time zone.
This year I want to add to our New Year ‘s Eve family tradition. This year I want to give everyone something that will help us stay on track with reaching our goals for the year. Everyone will get a journal and planner with pens and mild lighters that I found on Amazon. I want us to be more intentional about documenting our goals for ourselves and the year that follows.
My secret goal for next year is to spend our New Year’s Eve gathering in Mountain Village/Telluride, Colorado.
Tips for Celebrating the Winter Holidays while Keeping Torah
My top tips on how we keep our nontraditional family traditions.
- Minimize exposure to advertising for the kids .This is the poison that steals the joy from the moment.
- Maximize quality with the kits. Crafting, cooking, and board games are our go to activities for quality time.
- Don’t give in to family guilt trips. There might be a family member who likes to remind you that you are keeping the joys of childhood from your children when you aren’t.
- Knew that you are a good mom. Your goal is to raise children for G-d not the world. Don’t let the world determine the traditions in your home.
Happy Holidays to you and your family!