I am not a Bible scholar. I have no degree in Theology nor do I frequent conversation with thought leaders of today. I simply have an authentic relationship with G-d. I am a regular person but not average. I no longer subscribe to what the masses teach. HaShem (The LORD) is G-d, the Torah is the law I abide by, and Yeshua (Jesus) is my rabbi.

One midsummer day, I met with G-d in my kitchen. I told Him that I felt like there was a thin veil of separation that kept me from Him or Him from me. His response was that I had given Him 99% of myself and I reserved 1% of me from Him. I told G-d I want to give him that last 1% of me. I share more about this period HERE. It’s been almost five years since that day in my kitchen and my understanding has not been the same.

A Changing Theology

Twenty twenty four was my first full year of studying just the Torah in the Bible and keeping the Moe-dim (Holy Days that G-d gave us). My greatest take away was that religion is a man made faction and Torah is G-d ordained law. Everything that is wrong with the world would be fixed if everyone kept the Torah. To keep it is to submit to G=d and to know it is life altering. When I began to keep it, I was concerned with outward appearance of “am I doing this right” and would compare my walk to others so that I could replicate what they taught. It took a few months but eventually G-d worked that mindset out for me. It felt lonely in the beginning, but I learned the practice of keeping my eyes on Him.

I visited a number of congregations this year. in search of a pastor, teacher, or rabbi to learn from. It always started out great and then… I;d hear more of the speaker’s perspective and less of G-d. Back to them telling me what to believe. If I’ve learned nothing else on this journey, I have learned this one maxim. If you speak the truth, you won’t have to convince someone who’s seeking the truth to believe you. In the end, I did find one congregation that I could attend for community and worship. When they meet it’s not “a preacher in the pulpit and your blind devotion”, it’s questions and dialogue. It has been a year of shedding false theology and gaining peace.

Seek And You Will Find

If you are at a place in your life that you feel like there is something missing in your relationship with G-d. but you can’t put your finger on it; or If you feel like you have to put on a mask and play the role to sit in the congregation filled with religious impostor syndrome’ or if you know that YOU KNOW that what you’ve been taught to believe isn’t fully correct I suggest you spend the next year of your life, just studying the Torah. Not the whole Bible. Just the Torah, cross referencing where applicable. And when you finish, do it again. Ask G-d the questions on your heart, respectfully. If you diligently seek Him, He will be there to answer you. He gave His word that He would, and He cannot lie.